I like to buy things off Amazon. In fact, I like it because sometimes, I really hate having to go out and get my books. I also feel sorry for the sellers who's getting 1 or 2 stars with comments like this:

2 out of 5: "Did not send the book I bought. Did refund immediately."

OK, why in the world a two star? Would you rather not get a refund at all? Is that what this feedback means? I am trying to learn here because I might be seller someday and I want to make my customers happy. If sending refund because the book is not longer available garners feedback like this, then what's a seller who's willing to please to do? Huh?

1 out of 5: "Book arrive very fast, seller did not answer my e-mail right away."

What the fuck! I thought rating is for your books to arrive, and failing that, for your money not to be stolen. What brain-dead scum leaves feedback like that? Selfish heathens! It seems to agravating to sell anything. I don't know who sellers does it, but this would piss me no end. Isn't the point getting the correct book?
I feel for these sellers.

"Right away" means the seller did reply. Hello! Sellers have a life too, and if you got the book fast, why leave a two? A pox to people like this!

On the other hand, I am mad at sellers who gets feedback like this:
2 out of 5: "No book sent, it's been two months, no replay to e-mail, no refund."

Too generous. Isn't it? I'd have given no star! No excuse for not sending the book. Though post office tends to mix-up packages sometimes. And if the wrong receiver does not toss the mail back into the mailstream, everyone's pretty much screwed up.

What I'd really like to see, in my ideal world is that buyers who leave feedback like the ones above will be smitten and burn down to ashes immediately! Yeah, but it's not going to happen, but it would be nice if it does. That will teach them a lesson for sure huh?

Is this why I am not into Customer Service field? I get too emotional. Can you imagine me a manager at Wal-Mart and cussing people out? Yeah. I don't think so either.

Labels: random

something else of course. Taxes.

I have a week left before filing up 1099 and W2s.

Instead, I stayed up all night watching Gilmore Girls, and will now be totally useless for the whole day.

Let's see who gets to be really irritable now.

My husband and I have a wonderful day today. I wasn't even mad at him even for a second. See, this is how we are, when he's not being crabby.

I am never crabby. I am a perfect wife. No, I am The Perfect Wife.

Drat. I really, really hate customer service. I'll tell you why another time, but man. Some customers are assholes. Really. Asses one and all.

I got this idea from Beth below:

Blind as a Bat: addiction 101

It changes every week. Really. I kid you not. One week it will be one thing, and the next, it will be another. It's really a good thing I am not addicted to drugs, or I'll be dead right now. Dead.

1. Procrastination.
What can I say? I am addicted to procrastination forever! It's only surpassed by my addiction to...

2. Books
I cannot live without books. In fact, if I can only have two meals in the world, I'd spend 1.75 of it on books and only eat a the last 4th. If that makes sense.

3. Thong
Under wears. Yep. I have two hundred something pairs from Victoria's Secrets. Most of it unworn, because they're XS-M. I refuse to buy large, and right now, my buns are L. I am not throwing them away either because I am planning to wear them again, just as soon as my baby fat wears off.

4. Babies
I must be addicted to babies. I have 5 of them! Five!

5. Vanilla Ice cream
Which totally doesn't explain why I have a chocolate flavored Frosty from Wendys right now.

These are the things I am addicted to. I am probably leaving something out, but it's two thirty in the morning!

Labels: random

A house with a lot of kids will get dirty. When there is no cleaning help, or any other paid minions, it's expective, though unspoken that The Little Wife will clean up.

I am cleaning up tonight. I got a broom and swept the floors filled with spilled food, and other things children will messed up a house with. I waited as long as I could stand it. Then I started cleaning.

In the middle of sweeping and picking up the messes, my husband wanted to tell me something. IN the FUCKING middle of sweeping the floor. I was in a hurry not to scatter all the dirt again because I have a crawling baby too. So, I couldn't pay attention to him WHILE. I. WAS. FUCKING. SWEEPING. THE FUCKING. BLOODY. FLOOR.

So he flounced away, crumpling the paper instead of just waiting 4 FUCKING SHITTY minutes so I could listen. Then I get the third degree because I wan't to finished cleaning up by vacuuming the bedroom floor which happens to be the location of HIS royal ass-tardness.

I just want to tell you dear husbands out there. When your wife is cleaning your house with the mess your kids scattered on the floor, have the decency to let her finished before you take offense because she is not FUCKING listening right then.

If you don't want a wife who cleans, then fuck off! Don't get married. In fact, better yet, clean the mess up yourself instead of waiting for me to do it.

Fucktards!

Labels: anger

It's really cold out here in our part of Texas. In fact, it's so cold, I am thinking of buying a weatherstripping for my front door. One of my kids peeled off the bottom part of the stripping by the front door. Now you can feel the draft wafting through it every time I walk on by.

Last night, my husband totally pissed me off for like 20 minutes. I asked him to take somethings out and put them outside the front door so someone can pick them up. What did he do?

He carried the buckets I asked him to halfway to the front door. That's it. He then left and went back to watching TV. It got me so mad because why bother doing something if you're only going to do a half-assed job of it?

I am totally warning my kids to only marry someone who knows where to put the dirty laundry, how to clean dishes, knows to clean floor, and not leave stuff lying around.

That's how my husband is (I guess he has to be, coz then he'd be perfect if he doesn't) and it's so darn annoying.

I am totally blaming his mother on this one. If she knows how to straighten up a bit, then my husband would know too instead of being perfectly comfortable in a cluttered (clean but cluttered) house.

Ugh!

Labels: whine

I was thinking about fashions today because I was at Target. It's really too bad I am size 12-16 because there are beautiful clothes for smaller size in the clearance section.

I never really care much whether my clothes are top of the line or expensive. I just want them comfortable and to look great when I wear them. I was browsing first at the kids section. I found several long pants for my baby at 2.50 each. It's great quality. Used to be 20 bucks. I got some pajama bottoms for my older boy...coz it was only 3.74 for two.

I am a bargain hunter. My kids look wonderful, but I hardly pay full price for the clothes. It seem ridiculous to not buy from the clearance when the clothes there are perfectly wonderful.

I bought a jacket for less than 10 dollars, a pants for less than 7, and they all look fine. I have a feeling that were I to become a millionaire, I'd still be rifling through clearance section of Target and Wal-Mart.

Labels: shopping

Saturday night my husband ended up screaming at my kids. It's two hours past their bedtime. He's been on tight schedule taking care of business and have to go out again that same night for another job.

It wasn't very nice outside. It was raining, and it's freezing. The kids were not listening. The kids have gotten into this habbit of having to be told 2-5 times before they get around to doing anything at all.

Most of the time, they really are good kids, but sometimes, it's really annoying when they drag their feet. I can totally understand the screaming. I've done it myself before. I've also castigated myself afterwards. Wraked with guilt from the screaming.

The anger gets to me. Sometimes, I just want a plain, good, old revenge. I think that's what my husband felt last night.

The younger me would have immediately swoop down and embraced the blame, taking offense and pick a fight with him. The new me is too busy with the younger kids to take on more drama. I have enough on myself. I cannot take anymore.

So I sit on my chair, in front of him, updating my other blog, and holding the baby close. I kept my mouth shut.

Stress can do funny things to people. I am glad to see that for once, I am not the one to scream and hurl loud words to my children. We do this maybe 2-5 times a year. Only when really pushed to the nth limit on a very bad day.

That Saturday night was a really bad day for my husband. I could have helped, but I do so much of the other stuff. I decided not to.

My bad. But it's nice to be less stress for once. I will have enough of it once again when I have to prepare taxes.

Labels: anger

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And so are credit cards which are supposed to help people managed their money better.

When we're earning way less money, and no credit card, we were saving 30 per cent of our income. Then we have credit cards, and our savings are down to none, and now we owe credit card some money.

It's so easy to overspend when there isn't noticeable empty pockets anymore. A card with tons of limit will always work. Even when the bank is empty, I can still buy that extra pair of shoes no body really need, nor want.

This year, I am hoping to be different. We're going on a cash system to reclaim our savings power. A family earning over 100K a year should be able to save at least a thousand here or there. Not owing the banks several thousands more.

This is especially true for us. We have simple taste. We don't fly Paris, France for a honeymoon. We stay and we don't take off work. We don't fly to Jamaica every so many years for a family vacation. We take walks around the neighborhood.

We don't even drive the latest cars. It's confusing where all the money went.

But if I look closely enough, I say, the money went to Wal-Mart. I have packages of pens and little nothings to show for it. Of course they amount to nothing, but the bills is another story all together.

So, any body out there grappling with debts like us? Not being we blatantly bought a Blahniks (designer) sandals, or Coach bags each season, or jewelry but because of little things like pens?

How sad is that, really!

Labels: debts

Hum a tune in your head to "All the Lonely People" except it's not as pleasant.

I noticed that I dislike being around angry people. I cannot stand it when I am the angry one. Not even for love will I put up being around an angry person. Really. If that makes me shallow, then paint me!

I think I mentioned below when I "forgot" myself and didn't agree on any point my husband made simply because he's making them. To me, they sound lame and stupid. Why should I even pretend to agree when I don't feel like it. So I didn't. He went on an angry tirade for 30 minutes. I cannot go anywhere since we were all trapped in the car.

Note to self. Limit tirade in space where victims can ran away without killing themselves. I was sitting there listening to an angry discourse on why things should go my husband's way. OK. I can understand a little discussion about it. Just don't expect a landslide win when there's so solid arguments backing your position except that you feel strongly about it.

It was unpleasant. I was considering opening my door and jumping out. I considered it for about 5 minutes, and decided not to because after all, we have these lovely, smart, intelligent, beautiful kids which needed both of us around. I kid you not. All our kids are Honor student/Deans list. Besides, my husband only gets angry two to three times a year. I'm spoiled that way. I want pleasant all the time!

Truly, I like it much better when no one gets angry. If they are, please contain yourself until we get to an open space.

It's not a contest. All of us gets angry, just don't pound on the hapless victim in the vicinity.

Labels: anger

I am not so nervous today. I can see that we have money to pay most of the bills. I hate having credit card bills.

I would really, really love to save more than enough to get a new house in a different area. I'd like to liquadate these extra residences which does nothing for me.

Would it make me a bad person if I do not want to live near any relatives at all? Would that be so bad?

I do not believe anyone at all when they say they can stay on budget and use credit card at the same time. I don't think it's possible.

I'd really want to win the lottery. You know why? To pay off my debts, and to have savings for my kids when they're grown.

I'd like to win at least 20 million. I wonder how one goes about winning the lottery. I know it can happen. There's one winner every month. It might as well be me.

Labels: lottery

Disclaimer: I am happily married. However, there are times when SO is not being perfect.

A discussion of couples came up yesterday. About how some make the decission to stay apart because of work. The topic came up because of a family friend who got a green card because the state of Florida granted her one. She's a nurse. I heard that her husband is planning to stay in California with their two kids because that's where his family are.

I told this to Czar. OMG. You cannot believe the stink he made. He worked himself into a ladder over it.

I told him that they have their own circumstance, and that it's probably the best they could do. He was very judgemental and heavy handed, siding with the side that family should be together. I have no problem with that. It's the judging part that irked me.

So I mentioned that would he prefer these family just divorced themselves because they can't stay together? A reasonable question because some people do not have a choice in this matter. Not if they want to make a living. So off he went.

After that, as a change of subject, I mentioned sidewalks. Then he said that it's the law that if a sidewalk is broken down, when they fix it, it has to be in code. As in, put in a disable ramp.

Grrr. I hate it when people talk like they know and they don't. I don't think it's the law, because if it is, this sidewalk is in front of a school, shouldn't they have gotten a ticket or something? I said so.

Then he errupted and said why must I disagree to every point he made.

I did not disagree. I just did not agree.

I am thinking, I might have been to complacent in my years of being married to him. He was that shock that I didn't agree with him. I usually would just agree and gave way because it's what makes for a comfortable relationship. I did it wrong. I shouldn't have agreed to anything that didn't feel right.

Well, my advise to newly weds....do not agree just for peace. The other person starts believing they are the correct ones in any discussion all the time.

Looking at our assets and expenses, it looks like we have to liquidate our other three houses.

Czar suggested I look for a broker. Guess what? I did it twice, and both times, he was not happy with them.

Yegads! If only we could keep the "good" in a person and murder down the bad. But we can't.

I am feeling like we're in a dire situation.

It's us spendning money like water on trivial stuff. Credit cards makes it easy to delude ourselves into thinking we have the money, which we must not have for the part 3 months. This month, we're short about 10 thousand. I can't believe it, but there it is.

It's really time to sit down and fix this. Much more of this and we start liquadating assets, which is not a bad idea.

Czar and I just need to sit down and take drastic measures. Maybe move to a smaller property we have, where expenses are cheaper, and save at least 2500 a month.

What a mess this is.

I would guess that we have to cancel our vacation plans now.

I just found out that my husband resented me for not wanting to have any more children after #5.

I don't think it's so wrong for me to not want anymore. Children, as much as I love them, had made me lost time to take care of myself. I've gone to seed, and I don't want anymore.

Was that wrong?

ex·as·per·ate
transitive verb
a : to excite the anger of : ENRAGE
b : to cause irritation or annoyance to
2 obsolete : to make more grievous : AGGRAVATE

synonym see IRRITATE

So, on discussing financial issues with my husband, Czar, he'll say that we're doing much better last month. Why, that's about 15 grand of income.

I'd say, that's true. But the previous months of not having that much income, and having the same spending rate catches up. Just because we have more income this month doesn't erase the debts of the previous months.

I just feel like I am talking to one of my kids sometimes. Czar has selective hearing thing going on. Or is it selective understanding?

It's probably all my fault anyway for being so capable and super-woman I do everything my self.

I need to give myself enough time to articulate myself. I really needed to. I figure once it's out, I wouldn't have to have it pestering inside of me.

I am always afraid I am going to die early of stress and worry. I'm only in my 30s, not ready to die yet.

Labels: bills

Oh god!

Oh God!

I couldn't be any more worried about our financial situation. I just did our bills last Wednesday and it is very grim indeed. It's not because we do not have income, because we have a lot of it. We just overspent.

Somehow, we managed to overspent. I want so much to turn the tide. I sit here and sweated and worried. Where do I find the money to pay it all?

I have a happy life, but I cannot think of that right now. I am just so worried about finance.

Can I ever get out of this debt quagmire before it is too late?

Labels: bills

I can't really think why you would care. Perhaps, you know me from my other blogs. It's not my goal here.

I want to be truly unrecognizable, while at the same time, find myself through my confessions.

I am a girl. The rest, you'll have to find out for yourself.

I'm going to title this blog by entries if I have a hard time coming up with one.

If and when I get a reader, remember, your comments are welcome.